“In my thirty-fifth year of life I am finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. While, yes, moments of doubt, comparison, and insecurity pop up every now and then, I have nonetheless seriously committed to embracing me, imperfections and all.
Part of that has meant accepting that at 5’2” in particular, no matter how many miles I run on the treadmill, I will never have the legs of Heidi Klum. Having chosen to grow and maintain my hair naturally has meant accepting that no matter how much Shea butter I use my hair is never going to have a curl pattern that allows me to “wash and go.” And even though it has been a number of years since I left the Lone Star State, my southern drawl remains evident in my speech. I no longer desire to make others comfortable by compromising my values or standards. It just isn’t worth it.
Do not get me wrong, there still are aspects of myself that I want to improve and achievements that I hope to experience, but it has more to do with internal renovation instead of external landscaping, climbing that popular though ever-elusive ladder to false success and security. I don’t want the magic of the mundane to pass me by as I have in the past. I am learning to embrace even the hardships, disappointments, and pain of life without oozing anxiety at every corner, desperately coordinating every step of a ten-year plan.
In the words of Alice Walker, “I think that it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.” Life is filled with endless beauty and way more notable ordinary moments than anything else. Real life is not like Hollywood’s movies and that is okay. For me, now life is about taking my time, improving my perspective, and growing in gratitude each day in order to affirm that God is good and that I have been wonderfully made.”
