Tell me about your mom.
I love my mom, and she loves me. It’s been a crazy life but an awesome one. She just loves each and every one of us. She has five children. I’m the oldest, and the youngest is six years old. I come from a blended family.
Where is your mom from?
She was born in Panama, and she met my stepdad who was in the US army. He was in Panama because of Noriega. She didn’t know English that well. She’s really smart, so she went from the University of Panama, then transferred to University of Miami, then graduated at Albany, a SUNY school.
You said she met your stepdad in Panama?
He was there from when I was born. I have a different biological dad whom I’ve never met. My stepdad raised me from birth – I call him dad. I was born the same night they caught Noriega. I’ve connected with some of my biological dad’s children on Facebook. I even have a sibling with my same name. I guess he really liked that name, and didn’t expect to meet me again.
What did your mom study in college?
She studied psychology. My dad was in the army, so we moved around a lot. Florida was a short time, and then New York for a while, and since then we’ve been in this area.
There must be so many amazing stories in your family.
There are a lot of stories. My parents divorced when I was in middle school, and I went to four different schools during my middle school, high school years. But it was great. I got to meet new people, and I love that. My mom met Christ right around that time period and she started to go to church. In single motherhood, its hard. I’ve had friends, you’ve heard stories and movies, where single mothers will try to get help through boyfriends, people with money. But my mom, even when there was no money for rent, lights, things eventually got done. She didn’t grow up here, and she doesn’t have a typical American thought process, but she’s just learning on the go. With five mouths to feed. And I eat a lot. She started off working for Catholic charities, and now she works for the government – she’s a counselor advocating for at-risk kids.
She must love her job?
She does! It’s amazing to see her now, knowing from where she started. She didn’t speak any English when she came to this country. We started with Spanish at the home. Now we all speak English, although we always spoke both. She’s always continued to grow – she’s never stopped. The thing about our family that is unique is; for us, literally, family is everything. It was instilled in us from my mom. For me, there’s something unique about suffering together. When you have people to go through it together, it makes it fun.
Family is not just this biological unit, but people who suffer together?
Exactly. Of course my brothers and sisters are first, but I have a liberal definition of family. Family is a team effort and unit. We support each other.
What would you say was your mom’s biggest influence on you?
I would say there are two things. She showed me her faith by example. I didn’t become a follower of Christ until after high school, but it was definitely her influence that brought me to that point. The second is resilience. I learned to keep fighting. She fights and fights, and keeps going no matter what, in good times or bad.
I’d also like to say that my step mom has been a great mother figure to me as well. My dad got remarried earlier than my mom. We had more time to spend with her. Summers, holidays, you know? We see each other a lot, even now, and I include her and she includes me in life decisions. A lot of times there is strife in these kinds of relationships, but I’m thankful that isn’t true in our case.
It seem you welcome everybody into your family.
Yes, I guess you could say there’s a low barrier to entry.
Is your mom like that too?
I think at varying levels we’re all like that. I’m definitely like that. I’ll talk to strangers on the subway in NY city to include them into my conversations with friends. I like to be accepting of everyone.
