What is your story of motherhood?
I became a mom at 19, when I was a sophomore in college. My biggest goal from then on was to become a better person. To provide my son with all the things that I had when I was growing up. To finish school. To beat all the statistics that come with being a teen mom. My son helped me to grow closer to God, to stay focused. It was a good wake up call. I have my son to thank for a lot of things. I'm really thankful to be a mother. To know that God trusted me to care for someone else's life.
Did you take a break from college?
I went straight through. I was on a full scholarship for track. I took a year break from track. But thank God for Title 9. You can't lose your scholarship for something a man can't also lose his scholarship for. I was able to keep my scholarship. There were times I took him to class. I had some great teammates. If i had class and they were off, they would take him. I also got really lucky, blessed, divine intervention, whatever you want to call it. I would meet someone, I didn’t even know them, and they would help me. I was put into a teen mom organization. I had a parent mom whe knew this lady at our church who had a daycare. She watched my son. If i couldn't pay she would just watch him. It was just an amazing period of my life... how things work together.
That's amazing that you made the decision not to drop out, to have your baby, and you got a masters too?
All because of my son. Because I got the extra year off, and still finished undergrad on time, I had another year of track to run, and so I actually got a scholarship increase that year, and I didn't have to pay for the first year of grad school. If I didn’t have my son, I wouldn’t have had that extra year. They give you 5 years of eligibility, but you can only compete for four. Since I didn’t take any time off, I finished on time.
You finished undergrad in 4 years?
God is good. That whole experience woke me up to what God can do - sometimes you won’t even realize how amazing it is until someone else tells me. Your response is the response I usually get. When I was going through it, I didn’t think about it. God really did provide for me.
Did you have family support?
My brother got into Morehouse. His dream school. He didn't go so he could come to Memphis the first year to help me. His first year of college. We give each other a hard time, but I love my brother. He is amazing. I don't know how many people have siblings who would give up their opportunities for them. He wanted to do film studies, and Spike Lee went to Morehouse.
Did he go afterwards?
No, he went to Temple. Yes, he completely changed everything for me and my son. My brother is amazing. He's about to finish his last semester at Temple. He's studying business now. He just had an interview with Target corporate, and he has an internship with AARP. I know God is also protecting him. I will stick up for my brother in any case and situation. I have a very amazing younger brother, and amazing friends. Amazing people that I met along the way that were really helpful. I try to see if i can help people in the same way. You never know how doing one thing for someone - even someone taking me to the doctor's office, how it has allowed me to be who I am now.
What’s your favorite thing about being a mom?
My favorite thing about being a mom is seeing my son happy, seeing him smile. Even if it’s something small like giving him a Lunchable, taking him to the park, I just love seeing him full of joy. I want to make sure he has a good childhood. Enjoying his youth while he can.
The toughest part?
I would say it’s not knowing if you're doing the right thing - every child is so different, and it’s hard to know what the best thing is. Since I'm not married, him missing his father, not having that father figure, sometimes is very difficult, trying to do both roles - it can be very challenging. I’m always trying to make sure he's not missing anything from not being in a two person household. One of my biggest goals is making sure he has a childhood. Another one is making sure that my son has what he needs to be a successful adult. Social skills, manners, education. Those are things that I value.
I’d like to shield him from having to take on adult responsibilities too soon, or be aware of issues adults face. I think that’s something my mom really did a good job with. As a child you're kind of naive to what's really out there. Now as an adult, that's good and bad, still trying to figure out how the world really is. Being completely naive to the trouble out there. He'll have his time to worry about these things. Me being a teacher, I see kids forced to take on responsibilities that they shouldn't as a child. So if it's running around all day or eating candy, or drinking juice, I want him to look back and say, ‘I enjoyed my childhood.’
What is your favorite thing about your mom?
As crazy as it seems, it’s her tough love approach. It has helped me to be the adult that I am today. When I say tough love, I mean being there when I need her, but also allowing me to suffer the consequences of my actions. So there’s that balance. I really appreciate that about my mom.
